Spitfire June 16, 2011
Moan House June 3, 2011
Happytohelp April 18, 2011
Work-Life Balance April 8, 2011

Anti Social Apps

March 25, 2011

4

stop wasting your life

Someone at work sent around a link to a “cool” new app for iPhones, called “Color“.  The name alone made my hackles stand on end, metaphorically speaking as I don’t have a hairy back… yet. Although at the not-quite fully ripe age of 35 it’s only a matter of time before my body gives in… [Read more…]

Posted in: Marketing

Right to reply

March 21, 2011

1

london-dry

Never let it be said that I treat this blog like a tyrant – I don’t want that reputation, first because it’s not true, but secondly because it’s dangerous. I currently own a few bottles of oil (olive, corn, ground nut to name a few) and so you put that alongside the label of tyrant… [Read more…]

Posted in: Marketing

Problem Mushroom

March 17, 2011

2

Problem Mushroom

What’s a problem mushroom?  In my opinion pretty much any mushroom which happens to be on my plate.  I’m not a massive fan of mushrooms, it’s the texture, the smell, the look and the taste of them that I have an issue with.  That said, I don’t go around telling people I don’t like mushrooms,… [Read more…]

Better by foot

March 15, 2011

7

bike lane

I am going to risk the admonishment of a number of friends with this post, but these are the risks you must take if you are to write about things on the internet, so I shall venture forth regardless. Bristol has recently announced that it is the UK’s first Biking City, which is nice, but… [Read more…]

Posted in: Bad marketing, Marketing

Youth Marketing

March 10, 2011

2

chicken

Every morning on my walk to work I play chicken with a six year old.  I must point out that this isn’t through choice.  I don’t make it part of my constitution that I must play chicken with a child before picking up my morning coffee (which is invariably a morning tea anyway).  It’s him,… [Read more…]

Posted in: Marketing

Marketing Superheroes

March 1, 2011

1

superheroes

Marketing people don’t make great entrepreneurs.  It’s not their fault though, it’s just that the process of analysing a market, scoping the opportunity and planning an entrance strategy usually turn up reasons to investigate further and to delay the action. Entrepreneurs, in my experience, take action first and then analyse after and there is a… [Read more…]

Posted in: Marketing

Personalised marketing just isn’t

February 28, 2011

3

Orange Text

Who’s bright idea was it to personalise marketing communications?   This strategy emerged alongside the introduction of computers as business tools in the eighties.  To begin with I imagine it was a novel experience, getting mail with your name on it, but back then it was novel to actually own a television – things have… [Read more…]

Posted in: Bad marketing, Marketing

When ‘good’ service is bad

February 25, 2011

2

Gaddafi wouldn't put up with it

On my daily walk into work I occasionally sojourn in a coffee shop.  Partly this is because I quite like the idea of a coffee, but mostly this is because I am lazy and the thought of breaking up the journey appeals to me. That said, I have yet to find a coffee shop which I actually want… [Read more…]

Posted in: Marketing

Charity

February 24, 2011

2

Mugger

The latest round of televisual charity nonsense is about to hit our screens and I for one am here to say I don’t give a camel’s hump about a bunch of “celebrities” trekking across a desert.  I hope they all wither away in a slow and painful death. Except for Kara Tointon because she’s a… [Read more…]

Posted in: Marketing

Coming soon…

January 12, 2011

0

Kebab Van

an update. It has certainly been a while since I’ve posted anything.  But then again, why bother posting these days when you can email? Now, if that level of wit doesn’t whet your appetite for a 2011 of fun and frivolity then I’m in trouble, because there is a veritable postman’s sack full of puns of a similar… [Read more…]

Posted in: Marketing

In absence of a plan

November 10, 2010

2

Che Guevara (c) http://pyrosarco.com

Most of the time when I write something on this blog it just, sort of, happens.  I write a title and off I go, letting the turbulent currents of my mind traverse across a, let’s say eclectic, assortment of topics and I see where that takes me.   More often than not I just make… [Read more…]

Posted in: Marketing

The autumn of my life

November 5, 2010

2

autumn

This pondering made me question where in my life I had got to. People say things like "he's entering the autumn of his life" or "she's in the spring of her youth", so I wondered which month I was in, I wanted more precision than a season. If it was going to be my last month I'd like to go out in a decent month, not January.

Posted in: Marketing

Betamax

October 25, 2010

2

betamax

I do remember that the TV repairman was a common site in our living room (and its paisley patterned carpet) - the smell of solder brings back memories to this day... I must drop the habit of sniffing the stuff. Which leads me to another claim to fame almost as boastful as "meeting" Tiger Woods - our TV repairman was Lorraine Kelly's dad!

Needless Naming

October 18, 2010

2

pantone-rubiks

When the MoD decides on the hues for their camouflage paint jobs are they aided in the task by stupid names?  I can just imagine the command: I’ll have an intercontinental ballistic missile in “jade green” with an accent of “puce”!  (I know puce is pink, but I’ve never written the word in my life and couldn’t… [Read more…]

Posted in: Marketing

Death of a Milkman

October 13, 2010

6

Milkman

There was a time when everyone I knew got milk delivered to their door.  I must point out here that I am in my early thirties (35 at the end of the month, so technically I am still in my early thirties thank you), so I’m not going that far back really.  I’m talking about… [Read more…]

Posted in: Marketing

I hate Halloween

October 8, 2010

4

I hate Halloween

It's Halloween shortly and the shops are filling up with plastic bats, spiders and the like and I've got to be honest, I hate it, I hate it all. The reasons are endless, but even those of you who do like it have to admit that it's not even a proper calendar event. There is no accompanying holiday, so what's the point? If it were on the Telly you wouldn't series-link Halloween on your Sky Box. You would record Christmas and Easter, but Halloween... you wouldn't bother would you - why waste the space on the hard disk?

Posted in: Marketing

Ryder Shmuck

October 5, 2010

6

Ryder Cup

To get an even better idea of the scene think Braveheart or Gladiator and pumping up the soldiers ahead of battle. The head marshall, a man with a had adorned by more badges than a Boy Scout could ever dream about walked the line of Marshalls and announced, "No Marshall shall ask any players for an autograph. Anyone with that thought can get on the other side of the line as you are not a marshall." I couldn't stop myself, I interjected, "...but you can ask them for a badge for your hat!"

Fairground Attraction

September 28, 2010

2

Ferris Wheel

The point is that "Me too" marketing deserves to fail. It's unimaginative and fails to recognise the inner strengths of a product - in this case Bristol. This kind of copy-cat marketing is like saying "Kylie Minogue looks good in those hot pants, I think I'll get myself a pair" when you are a middle-aged man.

Posted in: Bad marketing

This isn’t a re-brand, honest

September 24, 2010

2

re-brand

First and foremost - this isn't a re-brand. Okay, I'll admit that it looks an awful lot like a re-brand, but let me explain. I've previously bemoaned the marketer's desire to re-brand at every opportunity, so you could forgive me for doing just that. But, what happened was this...

Posted in: Bad marketing

What George Michael needs to do now

September 22, 2010

4

George Michael

Sometimes brands lose their way. This happens for a lot of reasons, sometimes a brand's success is what ultimately dooms it to a future in the toilet. Metaphorically speaking of course, not literally apart from a few instances in the detergent sector and of course our focus here, Georgios Kyriacos Panayiotou. Incidentally I think 'Panayiotou' would make a great name for a toilet cleaner.

Posted in: Marketing

Announcing the Apple iApple

September 21, 2010

2

apple iapple

Steve Jobs walks onto the stage in front of a packed theatre in San Francisco. He thanks everyone for joining him (amidst rapturous applause - for walking onto the stage!) and nonchalantly takes an apple (a red one) out of his pocket and takes a bite. He chews on it for a while and there is silence in the auditorium, the expectation building all the while.

What if Apple marketed a…

September 16, 2010

0

apple

If you’re here looking for the Pope, see the article below this one… Apple are seen by many as the sole purveyors of great marketing.  You might agree or disagree on that one, but they certainly have an approach which they apply consistently to everything they do – which can’t be a bad thing.  So,… [Read more…]

If you’re here looking for the Pope

September 16, 2010

2

The Pope

I’ve had a lot of visitors in the last few days after searching for the Pope (at least that’s what Google tells me).  You might have been a little disappointed by what you’ve found, so I’ll try and do my bit to help. I do have an article looking  at marketing Catholicism which might be of… [Read more…]

Posted in: Good marketing

Scotland the brand of the brave

September 10, 2010

0

Bonnie Scotland

Everything: people, places and products are brands.  You don’t have to have a planned, structured and designed brand to have a brand.  Every individual has a brand – their brand is the way they look, the way they speak and the way they behave.  Every place is also a brand too, not only that, they… [Read more…]

Posted in: Marketing

The Loyalty Misnomer

September 8, 2010

0

Loyalty

In theory, the more loyal your customers the more they'll pay for your product. So, put the price up for the most loyal customers and tell them that if they are truly loyal to your cause then they'll happily pay for the pleasure. Also, if your customers are loyal then they ought to protect your interests from others. So, rather than asking customers to save and send in coupons, ask them to send in competing brand's promotional advertising which they've removed from the supermarket aisle.

Posted in: Bad marketing, Marketing

How’s my futurology?

September 8, 2010

0

Crystal Ball

In my post "Be brave and tell the truth" (9th August) I said that Frosted Lucky Charms had disappeared from the shelves. Not a prediction as such, but wrong nonetheless.

Posted in: Futurology
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